Discover to Yourself
by Scarlet Seer
Summary: As Soul Society prepares for war, everyone is under more pressure, especially the members of forth division. As Hanatarou both tries to get ready himself and help those around him, he discovers strength he didn't know he had. HanaHina later in the story
1. Bruised with Adversity

Hanatarou Yamada hummed cheerfully as he swept the corridors of Squad 4. The sun was streaming through the windows and a brisk wind was blowing in leaves. In the aftermath of Sosuke Aizen's betrayal and the ryoka invasion, Squad 4 had been filled with the wounded, but most were healed or buried now. As a member of the paramedic squad, Hanatarou was painfully ware that the lull was temporary; all the 13 Squads were preparing for war. Still, he enjoyed the peace while it lasted.

Hanatarou stopped at the farthest room on the right. He always saved this one for last. One of the remaining casualties of the betrayal was Momo Hinamori. After she was stabbed by her captain, Captain Unohana managed to save her life, but the girl remained catatonic. Hanatarou knew that Captain Hitsugaya often visited her, but he couldn't get her to respond.

Hanatarou entered and opened the windows to let in some light and air. Hinamori didn't respond; she just stared at the ceiling blankly. "Good morning, Hinamori-san," he said cheerfully. "It's a lovely day, isn't it?" She didn't answer, nor did he expect it. It was just too uncomfortable not to say anything while he was cleaning the room.

"We had a birthday party for Lieutenant Kotetsu last night," he continued. "Iemura-san gave her a new set of beads for her hair. I think he's a little sweet on her." He laughed. "To tell you the truth, she looked pretty pleased.

"Rukia-san seems much happier these days. She was here all the time when Captain Kuchiki was being healed. I think maybe they'll become a real family, after all." Hanatarou smiled as he remembered his parents and his younger sister. He had been born in Soul Society, in one of the better districts of Rukongai. They had been so proud of him when he was accepted to the Shinigami academy…

"Ah…sorry. I was just woolgathering." Hanatarou began to mop the floor. "Lieutenant Abarai is taking the captain test this evening. My unit will be on duty in case anything goes wrong, but I don't think it will." He didn't think it was a good idea to mention that Abarai would probably be taking over Squad 5, and that the test was just a formality, because Soul Society was desperate. There was talk of promoting Lieutenant Hisagi, even if he hadn't achieved bankai. And no one knew what to do with Squad 3, because Lieutenant Kira was clearly not ready to be a captain.

Hanatarou finished mopping the floor and turned to go. "Have a good day, Hinamori-san. One of the others will bring some food soon."

oOoOoOo

Momo was in a sunlit room, all alone. She was cold, even though she had a warm, brown jacket wrapped around her shoulders. It seemed like there was something she should remember, but nothing came to mind.

As she waited for something to happen, she occasionally heard voices coming through the windows, and she wanted to go and find out what they were saying, but it wasn't safe to leave. If she tried, They would attack, and They were much stronger than her. So Momo stayed in the room. It was nice in there, anyway. It seemed like home.

oOoOoOo

Those who thought Captain Unohana was soft had never been trained by her. In many ways, the war would be heaviest on Squad 4, since they would have to supply and care for all the other squads. She was determined that they would be ready.

Unlike human paramedics, the paramedics of Squad 4 were fully qualified to administer medical care, but they were specially trained to work under emergency conditions. With war coming, they needed to be ready to work in situations involving combat, even combat between shinigami, rather than merely fights between shinigami and hollows.

Looking at the sun, Hanatarou realized that he had taken too long to clean Hinamori's room. He hurried to his room and grabbed his zanpakuto and medical pack. He heard a clock chime the hour. "Oh, I am going to be so late," he groaned. He began to run full-tilt, almost colliding with several other shinigami.

Finally, he saw the training grounds in front of him. He skidded to a halt by his Second Leader, Kimiko Ueno. His two team members, Noboru Tsukuda and Shou Himura, were already there, watching with some amusement. Brushing himself off, Hanatarou asked Ueno, "So, what's the situation?"

Becoming serious, she said, "It looks like a building rescue. It's a three level, with two entrances and probably only one hallway per level."

Hanatarou shook his head. Building rescues were one of the most dangerous maneuvers; it was a good thing Captain Unohana was starting them with something _easy_. Tsukuda and Himura were bantering cheerfully, both excited to prove themselves. Neither of them had any actual field experience.

At that moment, Captain Unohana entered. "Good morning," she said. "Today's exercise will take place in that building. A shinigami is down on the first level. His last reported position was on the south side. Fighting continues between multiple combatants. You will be able to tell our side from the other side by the armbands, blue for us and red for them. However, you should not assume that your status as non-combatants will be respected. The injuries are reported to be serious, so please hurry." She opened her phone and pressed a few buttons. "You may begin, she said both into her phone and to Hanatarou's team.

Reiatsu began to crackle out of the building. Tsukuda and Himura went pale and began to sweat. "We have to go _in_ there?" Himura gasped.

"Yes," Hanatarou said. "Use Kido to shield yourself."

He heard the two younger shinigami performing the Kido incantation. Hanatarou and Ueno refrained; the spell would protect you from the reiatsu of another, but also rendered you effectively defenseless. Not that it would really matter if one of the fighters decided to attack.

Hanatarou said, "Kimiko, find out how many fighters there are, and where they are. I'll locate the injured shinigami." He closed his eyes and felt for any spirit ribbons with damage. "Got him," he said out loud.

"There are three fighters on each side," Ueno told him. "Each is engaged in one-to-one fighting. There is a pair on the first floor, and two on the second floor."

"All right," Hanatarou said. "Tsukuda-kun, you and I will enter the building first. Kimiko and Himura-kun, you come in behind and watch our backs. We'll enter through the south door. Zanpakutos out!"

The team skirted around the edges of the building and slipped in the front door. The reiatsu was like walking into a gale, drowning out the injured shinigami's location. Fortunately, there didn't appear to be too many rooms on the first floor.

Two fighters were battling at the far end of the hall, but they seemed to be beyond the room where their target was. They moved down the hall carefully, dodging stray attacks. A second pair thundered down the stairs behind them, trapping them between two groups. Panicking, Hanatarou shouted, "Everyone, into the room on your right!"

They dodged into the room and shut the door behind them. The room was empty; it was the wrong room. Hanatarou thought the injured shinigami must be in the next room down. It got quiet outside. It was quiet for a moment. Then someone called, "Open the door."

Hanatarou had no way of knowing whether it was a friend or foe. Trying to think quickly, Hanatarou said, "Kimiko and Himura, hold that door. We'll get the shinigami."

In his peripheral vision, Hanatarou was aware that Ueno was setting up a Kido barrier, but he didn't have time to check on her. Focusing on the wall between him and the next room, he said:

_Deeply rooted trees,  
Power of ancient forests,  
Turn back into dust._  
_**Dust Reduction 22**_

The spell blew a neat hole in the wall between the two rooms. "Hurry!" Ueno shouted. "I don't think I can hold the door for long."

Lieutenant Kotetsu was lying in the center of the room. "Himura, check for back or neck injuries." Hanatarou blew a hole in the exterior wall of the room.

"Kimiko, Tsukuda, retreat to this room!" he shouted.

Tsukuda came through first, then Ueno, who set up a barrier behind her.

"Himura, can we move her safely?" Hanatarou asked.

"Yes," he answered. "There aren't any spinal injuries."

"Right," Hanatarou said, trying to think carefully, even though his heart was in his throat. "Tsukuda and Himura, take Lieutenant Kotetsu and get her out of the battle area.

They picked her up gently but firmly and carried her through the hole in the wall. Hanatarou went and stood by his second leader and said, "When I say 'Go,' drop the barrier and run. I will be behind you." She nodded. "Ready…go," he said. They both ran as quickly as they could.

After what seemed like a long time, they reached the outskirts of the training grounds, where Captain Unohana and their other team members were waiting.

"Well done," she said, favoring them with a small smile. "Your time was 17 minutes. Himura-kun, you examined the patient. Would you deliver your diagnosis?"

Himura cleared his throat nervously. Hanatarou realized this was probably his first time speaking to the Captain. "Um…the patient has a punctured left lung and two fractured ribs. She has a bone broken in two places in her right leg, and multiple cuts and abrasions, some deep."

Captain Unohana nodded slightly. "What would you heal first?" she asked.

"Probably the cut on her arm," he said. "It's near an artery, and she would be loosing a lot of blood," he answered.

"Isane, how close were they?" Captain Unohana asked.

Lieutenant Kotetsu sat up and smiled slightly. "Mostly correct," she said. "They missed the skull fracture. Also, given the level of blood loss, it would have been prudent to put pressure on while they were moving me."

Now that the intensity of the training exercise had passed, Hanatarou was impressed with Kotetsu's ability to fake injuries. Any reasonably proficient shinigami could hide their spirit ribbon, albeit not while they were fighting. However, projecting a false ribbon, let alone specific injuries, was very difficult.

"Hanatarou-kun and Kimiko-san," Captain Unohana said.

"Yes, Captain," they said, coming to attention.

"Your team members will not be able to defend themselves properly if they must employ a Kido shield to withstand reiatsu. If anyone had attacked while they were moving Lieutenant Kotetsu, all three would have been killed.

"While dodging into the empty room bought you some time, blowing holes in two of the walls could have brought down the ceiling. Also, Kimiko-san, that Kido shield would not have kept out a more powerful opponent. And while you retreat, always watch your back."

Hanatarou hung his head slightly. In real combat conditions, his team probably would have been killed. "Nonetheless, you did well for your first attempt," Captain Unohana said. Hanatarou perked up slightly at her reassurance. "That's all for now. Please practice with your unit. Your next session will be in three days, and I expect to see progress at that time."

Hanatarou spent the next two hours practicing with his team. Since he was the strongest, they took turns weathering the most powerful gusts of reiatsu he could muster. Still, he knew that most shinigami would produce a far more intense pressure. Even so, his two team members were exhausted when he dismissed them.

He kept Ueno for another hour, taking turns trying to hold a shield against the other's attack. When they were done, their concentration was fraying, but they were improving. "Thank you for your help today," he said. "I'll see you at tomorrow's practice."

"Thank you, too, Hanatarou-san," she said, and hurried away.

oOoOoOo

"We had our first real training session with Captain Unohana yesterday. I guess it could have gone better. We need a lot of practice, but I'm having trouble finding people who will practice with us.

"Abarai-sama passed his test and became a captain. He, Captain Kyoraku, Lieutenant Matsumoto, and Lieutenant Kira all got drunk and ended up disrupting half of Soul Society." Hanatarou chuckled slightly. They did create quite a spectacle between them. "Captain Abarai got a new tattoo to celebrate, and Lieutenant Matsumoto ended up singing on the roof of Squad 6 until Captain Hitsugaya got her down."

"Kira ended up passing out near our barracks, which was just as well, so that we didn't have as far to carry him." Hanatarou didn't mention that Kira had spent a good bit of the rest of the night sobbing in a room just down the hall from Hinamori's. Captain Unohana was furious that the others had let Kira get drunk. Again.

Hanatarou finished cleaning the room and left, saying as he always did, "Have a good day, Hinamori-san."

oOoOoOo

Increasingly, the names and phrases drifting in the windows seemed familiar. 'Abarai' and 'Kira' seemed familiar, and 'Hitsugaya' especially. She wanted to see what was happening, but she also didn't want to leave the safety of the room. She wrapped the brown jacket around her shoulders and cried with loneliness.


	2. Oft in Ourselves

Lieutenant Izuru Kira walked out of the Squad 4 barracks, blinking in the piercing sunlight. He had a massive hangover, and he was fairly sure he had embarrassed himself. Again.

"Ready," a male voice said.

"Yes," another voice answered.

A slight wave of reiatsu washed over Izuru. Looking for the source, he saw a rather short man who was apparently focusing all his pressure on a trainee. The latter was sweating slightly, but seemed to be doing fine otherwise.

The burst of pressure, such as it was, subsided. The short man said, "That's great, Tsukuda-kun." Rubbing his head, he commented, "I'm afraid I can't make any more reiatsu. I've been trying to find a more powerful shinigami to practice with us, but all our other seated officers are busy."

Just then, he seemed to notice Izuru watching them. "Good morning, Lieutenant Kira. May I help you?"

"No…" Izuru said quietly. "But if you want…I mean…I don't have anywhere I desperately need to be, so I could practice with your group a bit."

The man's face split into a huge smile. "That would be wonderful," he said cheerfully. "My name is Hanatarou Yamada, and these are the members of Paramedic Unit 14." He introduced the others, a middle-aged woman named Ueno, a middle-aged man named Tsukuda, and a young man named Himura.

After the introductions were finished, Yamada stepped forward. "I'll go first," he said.

"All right," Izuru agreed. "I'll increase it slowly. If you want me to stop, just wave your left hand. If you want me to press harder, just nod."

"Agreed," Yamada said.

Izuru carefully directed his reiatsu toward him, starting at the level he had felt Yamada projecting. He increased his power steadily, and was surprised to find how much pressure the healer could tolerate.

After Yamada was finished, it was Ueno's turn. She also showed more resistance that Izuru expected. He actually had to exert himself to sustain his reiatsu. The 13 Squad's myth was that an unseated officer could knock out a Squad 4 member, but Izuru could see that wasn't entirely true. On the other hand, Tsukuda and Himura could barely take any pressure beyond that which Yamada was exerting.

They practiced for several hours, until the sun was starting to beat down on them mercilessly. Yamada said, "Lieutenant Kira, we'll break for lunch now. Would you care to join us?"

Nodding shyly, Izuru sat down with them. He didn't have his own lunch, but he figured he could do without. He was surprised when the other four shinigami took some food out of their own boxes, set it in one of the box lids, and offered it to him. "Thank you for helping us, Lieutenant Kira," Yamada said.

"It's nothing," he mumbled. Everywhere else he went, everyone walked on eggshells around him. Even Rangiku sort of hovered over him, although she tried hard not to show it. And he knew there were those who weren't sure he could be trusted. He wasn't even sure he blamed them. If Aizen hadn't stabbed Hinamori, would he have gone with the traitors? He wasn't sure. At any rate, it was good to work with people who actually needed him, and weren't deterred by his history.

He was about to start eating with his hands when Ueno produced a pair of chopsticks. "Thank you," he said. "Does…er, this sort of thing happen often?"

"It's not unusual for one of the others to forget their lunches. Especially our two bachelors, here," she said, motioning to Yamada and Tsukuda.

"Say, Kimiko-san," Yamada asked. "How are your children? Is Emi better yet?"

"Yes, thank you," she said. "Although now my other two have gotten sick."

Over to the side, Tsukuda and Himura were bantering cheerfully. Tsukuda said, "So I said to her, 'Need some help with that?' and she agreed, and before you knew it, she agreed to have dinner with me."

Himura smiled with a certain degree of amusement, Izuru thought. "Well, why don't you bring her with you when you come for dinner Sunday?" Himura asked. "I'm sure Riko would be happy to have some female company for once."

As the others talked, Izuru ate his lunch in silence. The others seemed so open, but also close-knit. He was an outsider, but at least he was a welcome outsider. Anyway, he was just as happy not to be asked any questions.

Everyone finished and put their boxes away. Izuru returned the chopsticks to Ueno. "Shall we continue, or do you have other appointments?" Yamada asked.

"Let's keep going," Izuru said.

oOoOoOo

Momo heard someone speaking outside again. It was a voice which had become familiar. She strained towards it, but she couldn't catch much. Curiosity finally overcoming fear, she took a deep breath and ran out the door.

"…another practice tomorrow. I think it's going to go better…" A short man with dark, messy hair was sweeping the floor, chattering cheerfully.

"Who are you?" Momo asked hoarsely.

The man jumped and scattered his neat dust pile everywhere. "Hinamori-san! I mean, Hinamori-sama! I beg your pardon, I didn't mean to be forward…"

She had to smile slightly; he seemed so flustered. "Hinamori-san is fine," she said gently. "Who are you?"

"I am Hanatarou Yamada. I'm a healer in Paramedic Unit 14 and the Seventh Seat of Squad 4," he said in a rush.

"Why am I here?" she asked. She felt so stiff, and even talking was unnatural.

He looked at her nervously. "You were severely injured. You've been in a coma for nearly two weeks."

A coma? Had hollows attacked? But Aizen wouldn't allow her to be hurt, surely. "Is Captain Aizen all right?" she asked.

"Hinamori-san," he said hesitantly, "he was the one who injured you."

Her body went cold, and she could feel her heart begin to race. She began to sweat. _The Central 46…Everyone was dead…Gin Ichimaru surprised her…Aizen holding her as she sobbed into him…and the sword sliding into her back…_ She couldn't breathe…

And then she was back in the sunlit room. She was shivering violently and wrapped herself in the brown jacket again. Whatever was going on out there, it was much better to stay safely inside.

oOoOoOo

"I said that he was the one who hurt her, and she went pale and started to gasp. Then, she went stiff and collapsed." Hanatarou delivered his report to Captain Unohana, who had asked to be alerted if Hinamori's condition changed at all.

"I see," she said calmly. "Thank you for telling me. Continue to act as you have been, and tell me if she talks again."

"Yes, Captain Unohana," Hanatarou said. "Um…what should I say if she asks me questions?" he asked.

"Don't lie, but try not to bring up Aizen's betrayal," she said. "I am sure she is aware of it, but she may not be ready to face it yet."

"Yes, Captain," he said. He bowed politely and left the room. He went back to his quarters, thoughtfully. Hanatarou had never really met Hinamori before she was hospitalized, but her devotion to her captain had been legendary. She was a talented young woman, and it was generally expected that once she became a captain in her own right, the two would marry.

He had heard what happened from Captain Hitsugaya one evening, when he had been working an extra evening shift in the emergency unit in the aftermath of the Sokyoku Hill fights. He'd been doing a round and had gone into Hinamori's room to check her condition.

_Hanatarou checked her pulse and her breathing and marked them on the chart. They were both weak, but that was to be expected, considering how badly she'd been injured. After making sure she hadn't started bleeding again, he'd turned to leave._

_He was surprised to see Captain Hitsugaya sitting in a corner, eyes obviously red from crying. "Captain Hitsugaya," he gasped. "I beg your pardon, I was just checking up on her. I'll leave right away."_

"_It doesn't matter," Hitsugaya said._

_Hanatarou didn't exactly know what to say, since he wasn't sure whether Hitsugaya was referring to his checkup or to something more general. The captain was younger than Hanatarou by at least fifty years, a mere child by Soul Society standards. Hanatarou wondered if he ought to do something to comfort him. "Captain Unohana says she'll recover," he said timidly._

"_Her body maybe. I don't know about her mind," Hitsugaya said. He seemed very tired. Hanatarou didn't answer, unsure of what to do. "Do you have any idea what he put her through?"_

_Hanatarou shook his head. "That bastard showed himself to her and let her cry into him," Hitsugaya said. "He told her that she was always a good lieutenant to him, and then he stabbed her in the back." Hitsugaya was shaking with emotion. "Damn!" he screamed. "WHY?" he let a bolt of energy fly into a wall. "WHY?"_

_After that, he ran outside, leaving Hanatarou to figure out what exactly he was supposed to do to fix the wall._

Even now, Captain Hitsugaya's description made Hanatarou's blood boil. What kind of person could do something like that? As a healer, it just didn't make any sense to him. The thing that really wrenched at his heart, though, was that Hinamori's first question after waking up, even after all that, was "Is Captain Aizen all right?"

Hanatarou decided to put in some zanpakuto practice before bed. It might be useful in the next day's exercise, and would help him take out his frustration.

oOoOoOo

"Today's exercise involves an open field," Captain Unohana said. "The injured shinigami is in the east corner of the field. The injuries are severe enough that it is necessary to retrieve him now, during the battle. You will start behind the wall in the western corner of the field, and you must bring the shinigami back there without leaving the field. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Captain," Hanatarou said.

"Begin," she said, raising a red flag over her head and waving it. The battlefield erupted in yelling, explosions, and clanging swords. Hanatarou couldn't tell who it was, but someone's spells were letting off a lot of smoke.

He glanced back at his team. The reiatsu was oppressive, but they seemed to be holding up alright, probably thanks to Lieutenant Kira's help.

"Right," he shouted, trying to make himself heard over the din. "We should probably make our way over to those trees."

The four of them sprinted for a copse of trees. When they were a few yards a way, a Kido explosion threw them all off their feet. Picking himself up, Hanatarou called, "Is everyone all right?"

Himura groaned in response. Hanatarou examined him quickly. He had several burns and cuts, and he was having trouble breathing. _Fractured rib_, Hanatarou thought. Aloud, he said, "Ueno, we're going to have to move him. Immobilize the broken rib so he doesn't get hurt any worse. Tsukuda, help me move him."

Tsukuda didn't move; he was staring at Himura, his face pale as a sheet. "Tsukuda, he'll be fine," Hanatarou assured him. "Just help me move him." Tsukuda nodded, and started moving slowly.

Between them, they got Himura under the trees. He was trying not to show it, but Hanatarou could tell he was in a good bit of pain. "Kimiko," he said, "stay with Himura and monitor him. Tsukuda and I will try to get the injured shinigami."

Hanatarou and Tsukuda cautiously left the relative protection of the trees. The ground was scarred and uneven, and there was still a lot of smoke. Suddenly, another shinigami emerged. His armband was red. "Tsukuda," Hanatarou hissed, "run and try to get the injured shinigami. I'll try to hold this guy off as long as I can."

The man advanced. Hanatarou drew his sword hopelessly. There was no way he was going to be able to fight him for long.

"You might want to run away, little man," the other shinigami said.

"No," Hanatarou said as firmly as he could, although he could hear his voice shaking. The man swung his sword at Hanatarou, who dodged. He managed to avoid it twice more, but the third blow struck his left shoulder. It started bleeding badly; an analytical part of his brain pointed out that it had struck an artery. He suspected he only had a short amount of time before he passed out. Desperately, he tried to block the next swing, but his opponent's force knocked his sword away.

"Drop your sword," the man said.

"No!" Hanatarou shouted, and jumped at the man, sword held high over his head. The man blocked it easily and stabbed Hanatarou in the stomach. Hanatarou slid off his sword and fell to the ground. The man strode off in the direction Tsukuda had gone. Hanatarou tried to shout out a warning, but he couldn't seem to speak. He heard some shouting and noise, but he couldn't understand what was being said. It hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced before, so it was a relief when darkness and quiet enveloped him.


	3. Constant in Spirit

When Hanatarou woke up, his first thought was, _Oh, I'm alive_. His second thought was, _Is that Captain Unohana shouting?_

It did indeed seem to be her, although he couldn't be positive, since he had never heard her yell before. "You do _not_ inflict that kind of damage on a fellow shinigami during a training exercise, especially not a noncombatant! You might have killed him!"

"But he tried to go for my head," a man protested, "and you said we could attack the healers."

"I specifically told you to use non-lethal force," she said. "Stabbing someone through the stomach with a released zanpakuto does not count as non-lethal force! What possible threat could have been so serious from his charge that you found it necessary to go for a killing stroke rather than a defensive one?"

The man mumbled something incoherent. "What was that?" Captain Unohana asked.

"I apologize, ma'am. It won't happen again," he said.

"See that it doesn't," she said, and the door to Hanatarou's room was flung open.

Captain Unohana had her hair in its usual braid, but her cheeks were flushed and she had a dangerous look on her face. Hanatarou had never seen her so angry. For that matter, Hanatarou had never seen her angry. When she saw he was awake, she managed to arrange her face into her usual serene smile, but her eyes were still flashing dangerously. He suddenly understood why even Squad 11 feared his captain.

"That was not a very smart move, Hanatarou," she pointed out, as she checked his vital signs.

"Yes, Captain Unohana," he said.

"It was very brave," she said, "but it's not really a good idea to assault your enemy from the front if you know he is stronger than you. Against a stronger enemy, speed and cunning is your best weapon. Additionally, your task was to buy Tsukuda some time rather than to kill the opponent. In such a case, you should always try to make the fight as long as possible. At any rate, I'll give your team a proper performance review tomorrow."

She got up to leave, then turned and said, "You are one of my best paramedics, Hanatarou. Please try not to die in training."

oOoOoOo

Toshiro Hitsugaya walked reluctant through the halls of Squad 4. Captain Unohana had told him that Momo woke up briefly.

"_The fact that she responded to someone in the room suggests that she is at least somewhat aware of what's going on. Even if she doesn't answer, I think she would be happy if you visited before you go," Captain Unohana said._

He opened the door to her room and sat by her bed. She didn't turn, didn't react, just stared at the ceiling. He hated seeing her like this. "Hey, Momo-chan? It's me, Shiro. Look, I don't know if you can hear me or not, but there are some things I want to say.

"I'm being sent out to the Human World tomorrow. There are reports of shinigami-hollow hybrids in Karakura Town, where the ryoka Ichigo Kurosaki is from. Anyway, I just want to say that I'm not angry about anything that happened, and I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."

He very gently took her hand and held it, remembering their childhood.

"_C'mon, Shiro-chan!" she called. "Come play with us!"_

"_No thanks. I'll just stay here," he said from his perch in a peach tree._

"_You never want to play with me," she pouted._

"_Course not," he said. "You still wet the bed at night."_

"_You're mean!" she said, throwing a fallen peach at him._

_He dodged easily and watched her skip off with the other children to play 'Ring Around the Rosie.' Momo was one thing, but the other kids were always nervous around him. When he tried to join in, the games always ended early._

_He leaned back in the tree, enjoying the shade and the breeze. He could hear laughter echoing towards him from the green. Suddenly, he heard a boy yell, "What was that for, you stupid girl?"_

_Uh oh._

_He looked over at the group. A boy was on the ground, and Momo had her fists raised ominously. The boy got up and tried to throw a punch back, but Momo dodged behind his back and pushed him. Two of the other boys grabbed her and pinned her arms behind her back._

"_Say you're sorry," one of the boys said._

"_I'm not sorry," she retorted. "If you say mean things like that, you should get hit."_

_Toshiro jumped down from his perch and went to intervene. If Momo wanted to get into a one-on-one fistfight, that was her business, but if they were going to cheat, that was a different matter._

_He knew from experience that his presence tended to overwhelm people. Nonchalantly, he sauntered into the group. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked coolly._

"_None of your business, Ice-Boy," the boy asked._

"_You know, two of you to hold back one girl seems kind of overkill, wouldn't you say?" Toshiro asked._

"_I said, it's none of your business," the boy said._

"_Oh, isn't it? Would you like to defend that statement?" he asked. "Or are you too scared without someone to hold my hands back?"_

_The boy looked at his cronies for support. None was offered; Toshiro had quite a reputation as a fighter. "We'll take this up later. The stupid game was over anyhow," he muttered. All the kids left._

_After they had gone, Toshiro turned to Momo. "You okay?" he asked._

"_Of course!" she said with that stupid grin of hers._

"_You know, you really shouldn't get into fights like that," he said, heading back for the tree._

"_They shouldn't say mean things about you," she said._

_He turned around. "You mean you slugged that guy because he said something about __**me**__?"_

"_Of course," she said, as if it should be obvious._

_He rolled his eyes. "Look, Momo, I'm perfectly able to take care of myself. You don't need to protect me, or anything."_

"_They shouldn't say mean things about you," she insisted._

_He sighed. There really wasn't any way to argue with her when she was convinced of something. "Fine, whatever. Just try not to get yourself beat up when I'm not around, OK?"_

"_OK," she said cheerfully. "Hey, you want to play with me, now that we're alone?"_

"_All right," he agreed. They took hands and played 'Ring Around the Rosie' beneath the tree._

Now, her hand was limp in his, and she gave no indication that she could even hear him. Softly, he whispered. "I swear to you, I am going to get stronger, and I am going to take everything he ever did to you out of his hide."

oOoOoOo

An achingly familiar voice haunted Momo's inner room. It was so familiar, yet everything it said let Them in a little farther. She huddled in the far corner and covered her ears. _Please go away_, she begged silently. _Please_.

And after a while, it did.

oOoOoOo

Hanatarou spent several days healing in the hospital ward. It was his first time having to stay there as a patent, and he was starting to understand why people got so restless during their recoveries. It was really dull, and all the work he was going to have piled up when he got out was nagging in the back of his mind. For the first day, Himura had shared the room while his ribs were healed. But he had been released the next day, so Hanatarou didn't even have someone to talk with. And his injury _itched_ under the bandages. Granted, he knew that was a good thing, but it was driving him crazy.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Yamada-san," Tsukuda's cheerful voice said, "we've come to visit you. May we come in?"

"Yes," he answered. The other members of his team filed in and found seats.

"How are you doing?" Ueno asked.

"Fine, thanks," he said. "Captain Unohana says I can go home tomorrow."

"Did you hear Captain Unohana ripping up that guy who stabbed you?" Tsukuda asked impishly.

"I heard the end of it," Hanatarou said. "She scolded me a bit, too. Say, what did happen after I lost? Himura couldn't tell me anything I didn't already know."

Tsukuda sighed. "I managed to get to Lieutenant Kotetsu, but on the way back, I was stopped by the guy who took you down. He clocked me on the head pretty hard," he said, rubbing his head ruefully.

Well, that was disappointing. Hanatarou had gotten himself stabbed for now reason. Well, it explained why Captain Unohana told him he should have tried to drag the fight out.

"Honestly, the exercise didn't really last long after you got hurt," Ueno said. "Captain Unohana entered the field as soon as she saw what happened."

"Did she say when she was going to do our performance review?" Hanatarou asked.

"Well, that's the other reason we're here," Himura said. "It should be any minute now."

There was another knock at the door, a more polite one this time. "Come in," Hanatarou said.

Captain Unohana entered. The other members of the team snapped to attention. Hanatarou jumped out of the bed and tried to come to attention as well, but he got tangled up in the blankets and fell on his face instead. "Please stay seated," she said. "I'd rather not have to re-bandage that injury. The rest of you may sit down as well."

Hanatarou sat back down on the bed. Why was it that he always seemed to get clumsy at the most inopportune moments? Really, if he didn't get better at this, Aizen's forces weren't going to have to do anything; he'd get himself killed.

When they had all taken their seats, Captain Unohana said, "This exercise was a difficult one. You had the right idea by taking shelter in the trees, but you made several mistakes.

"First, it is very important to observe your surroundings. The Kido blast which knocked all of you off your feet could easily have been dodged or deflected had you been paying attention. Also, you all need to watch your backs. When you move as a group, always have at least one person watching the front and another watching behind. Even when you are transporting a patient, you need to watch your backs. Always remember that when you are moving someone, that's when you're the most vulnerable.

"I already spoke to you about this, Hanatarou-kun, but it's good for the rest of you to know as well. If you are put into a situation where you must fight with a stronger foe, use speed and agility as a weapon and try to prolong it until you can get away or get reinforcement."

Hanatarou looked at the ground. It was a painful reminder that he would never be a good enough shinigami to fight even opponents which would be easy for most others. And not being able to fight could end up getting his team killed, not just him. In a real fight, Himura probably would have died as well.

Perhaps she noticed his expression, because Unohana said, "There is no shame in this. Your job is to get the victim away safely, not to take down the enemy. Please remember that anyone can kill, but healing is a much rarer talent. I don't want any of you to throw it away uselessly.

"I did notice, however, that you, Tsukuda-kun and Himura-kun, were able to tolerate reiatsu without needing a shield. Also, Kimiko-san, you did an excellent job in immobilizing Himura's ribs. And Hanatarou-kun, although your charge was foolhardy, you did execute some excellent dodges.

"For next time, please work on your observation and on moving as a team," she concluded.

"Yes, Captain Unohana," they said.

oOoOoOo

After Hanatarou was released from the hospital, he had a great deal of work to catch up on. The stack of paperwork alone filled up the box on his desk. But before he got started, he went to see an old friend.

Kasumi Tanaka had been a swordsmanship at the Shinigami Academy for hundreds of years. Hanatarou had been about ready to drop out of the Academy because he couldn't pass basic swordsmanship until she had tutored him.

He waited patiently until her class was over. He was a little nervous, so he loitered outside for a few minutes, until her voice rang out, "Are you coming in, Yamada-kun, or are you planning on staying out there all day?"

He bowed and entered sheepishly. "So, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"I was wondering if I might sit in on a few of your classes, Sensei. With the war coming, I feel that I need to get stronger," he said.

"What do you need to get stronger for?" she asked. "You're a healer."

"True, Sensei," he said. "But sometimes healers are also forced to fight."

She grunted in response. "Let's see what your skill level is, then," she said.

She took out her zanpakuto and swung it towards his side. He blocked it awkwardly with his own sword. She was fast, and she wasn't even using Flash Steps. She brought down towards his head, but he dodged around her. She met him with her sword, but he managed to block it again. He managed to stay out of her way a few more times before he knocked his sword out of his hands and pointed her own at his throat.

She stuck her blade back into its sheath. "You're rusty," she said. "And I may be a great teacher, but I don't think even I can teach you to fight well enough to take down any reasonably adept shinigami."

"I don't necessarily need that," he conceded. "I just need to be able to hold an enemy off long enough to keep my team safe."

"That," she said, with a feral smile on her face, "we might be able to do. Get your sword. Let's go again."

oOoOoOo

Every muscle in Hanatarou's body was aching, but he still had chores to do. His apparent success with Hinamori had gotten him permanently assigned to cleaning duty in the hall where her room was. He didn't mind much; it was better than cleaning duty in the sewers, after all. And it was good that it allowed him to choose his own time to clean, but right now, the last thing he wanted to do was tackle a cleaning job.

He managed to knock over the mop bucket twice before he even got to Hinamori's room. As he was cleaning her room, he kept up his usual chatter, even though he was nearly asleep on his feet. "I went to see…" yawn "…my old teacher, Tanaka-sensei, today. She's…" yawn "helping me practice my swordsmanship."

He had actually drifted off for a moment when a quiet asked, "Old Terror Tanaka?"

He turned around. Hinamori had rolled onto her side and was watching him with disconcertingly flat eyes. "I think some people call her that, yes," he said. She didn't ask anything else, so he continued, "I asked her to let me sit in on some of her classes, so she drilled me to see what class she should put me in."

"What was her answer?" Hinamori asked, almost idly.

"First-year defense," he said. "I never was very good with my zanpakuto, but I want to try and get better because…" he trailed off, not wanting to bring up a painful subject. "…because of everything that's been going on."

She nodded, and continued to watch. It was disconcerting, but at least she was responding to some extent. Trying to keep the conversation going, Hanatarou asked, "Is there anything you need?"

"Could I have another blanket?" she asked. "It's quite cold."

In fact the room was stuffy, in Hanatarou's opinion, but he went to get a spare blanket from a closet in the hall. He gave it to her, and she wrapped it around her shoulders, shivering slightly. She still wasn't saying anything, so Hanatarou just continued talking as he turned back to his cleaning.

"Captain Unohana kindly delayed our next training exercise until next. We did pretty badly in our last one. Three of us ended up in the hospital wing. Still, I think we're learning," he said cheerfully. Glancing back at her, he saw that she had collapsed again, and the blanket had fallen on the floor.

Hanatarou gently placed the blanket back over her, and finished his cleaning in silence. He had a lot to think about. As he left, he said, "Good-night, Hinamori-san" quietly, and turned the lamps down behind him.


	4. Action is Eloquence

As weeks passed into months, Soul Society slowly began to change. Captains Abarai and Hisagi were settling into their new roles. Nanao Ise was reorganizing Squad 3 as provisional captain, with the result that Captain Kyoraku was spending a great deal of time in Squad 3 and very little time in his own division. Nonetheless, all of Soul Society was getting ready, drilling, practicing, and fighting in preparation for the coming war. There were increasing concerns about shinigami-hollow hybrids in the human world. A few at a time, shinigami were being stationed in Karakura Town, were the reports were coming from.

Not all the changes were for the worst, however. Hinamori was conscious increasingly often, although how well she was actually recovering was unclear. Hanatarou was no longer stationed on cleaning duty in the wing where she was staying, but it was said that she wasn't sleeping well and seemed depressed.

The training exercises which Captain Unohana was administering were getting more and more difficult. None of them went quite as badly as the second one, though. Hanatarou was tired, and he knew the rest of his unit was, too. Still, they were becoming a real team. They were learning to act both a whole and independently to accomplish their mission. Even he was getting better both at swordsmanship and at Kido.

Today, there was a meeting for all the paramedic units. Hanatarou was looking desperately for his zanpakuto. He had a bad habit of taking it off without paying attention. His sword made it difficult to do some things because it caught on things and tangled in his legs, so he tended to fling it aside when he was trying to work.

He had been assigned to unload food wagons yesterday, so he rushed to the drop-off point to see if that was where he had left his sword. Fortunately, it was there. Unfortunately, someone had stuck it in the top of a wooden flagpole. He sighed and glanced at the sun. Even if he left his sword, he was probably going to be late, so he might as well retrieve it.

He took his medical pack off his back, took out the bandages, and wrapped the palms of his hands to give him a better grip. He backed up a few paces, ran at the pole, and jumped as high as he could. He grabbed it a few feet away from his sword and desperately tired to scramble upwards. His left arm slipped and he tumbled off.

He was about to try a second time when he heard a quiet voice ask, "Would you like some help?"

Hanatarou turned around in surprise. "Lieutenant Kira," he said, bowing politely. "I suppose so. I'm late for a meeting as it is."

Kira nodded and murmured a Kido incantation. Hanatarou's katana floated gently down to him. "Thank you," Hanatarou said. He began to walk back to Fourth Division. Kira fell into step beside him. "Um…Lieutenant Kira?" he asked. "How did you happen to walk by? And why _are_ you helping us so much? I mean, I appreciate it, but surely you have many duties in your own squad."

Kira shrugged. "I always pass this way on my morning walk. As for my job, Captain Ise doesn't exactly need a lieutenant. She's used to doing that job _and_ the captain's job, so she doesn't really need me. Besides," he said, avoiding Hanatarou's eyes, "the others don't really feel comfortable with me around. Anyway, I used to be in Fourth Division, so I know how difficult it can be."

"The truth is, though" he said, "I hate fighting. I mean, it's one thing to cleanse Hollows, but that isn't really _killing_ them. We've already died once, so you'd think we wouldn't need to kill each other again. War is…it's just pointless. I never really wanted to leave Fourth Division, but they promoted me out anyway."

"I'm surprised that Captain Unohana let you leave," Hanatarou said. "She usually makes sure shinigami who can heal stay in Fourth Division."

"She said I couldn't be a good healer until I understood that some things are worth dying for," he said.

Hanatarou didn't answer. He was glad that Kira wasn't simply shirking his duties. And he seemed calmer now than he was before. They reached a branch in the road. "Good-bye," Hanatarou said. "Thank you for retrieving my zanpakuto."

Hanatarou slipped into the meeting hall as unobtrusively as possible. He tripped over the leg of a chair and went flying into the table.

"Good morning, Hanatarou-kun," Captain Unohana said calmly. "If you will take your seat, we can continue."

"Sorry," Hanatarou said. He sat down, his cheeks burning.

"As I was saying," she said. "All of you need practice working with trauma beyond that which we can simulate here. All of you will need to take shifts in the Rukongai hospital, starting next week. Paramedic squad leaders will train for these first two weeks. After that, you'll be expected to bring your unit with you. You will be expected to clock at least ten hours per week." She paused. "If there are no questions, I'll get the medical supplied and take you there for your orientation in ten minutes."

oOoOoOo

Few people remembered now, but Retsu Unohana had founded Rukongai's only hospital. It hadn't been easy. She was a member of the minor nobility, but she wasn't wealthy. Still, at the time, the only help available for injured shinigami outside Seireitei came from amateurs. It had been her dream to start a proper hospital and train non-shinigami to administer care.

As a young shinigami, Retsu took every opportunity to volunteer for hospital duty. A large concentration of souls tended to hover around hospital, so a shinigami needed to be sent to 'clean' the hospitals on a weekly basis. It was a duty generally reserved to lower-ranking shinigami, but Retsu always volunteered. She wanted to learn everything she could about conventional medicine.

She took care to interview any souls who had been doctors, and she tried to leave herself enough time to observe procedures in the hospital itself. There had even been a few doctors who were spiritually aware enough to see her. Those were always the best, because then she could ask questions about what she was learning. Medicine in Soul Society never kept pace with medicine in the outside world, but the things she learned still helped. Besides, the work may have been tedious, but she earned money with each soul she cleansed.

The hospital opened a mere hundred years after Retsu was born, a remarkable accomplishment for such a young shinigami. At the time, she had just become a seated officer. Still, she spent as much time as possible in the hospital. Still, the drawback was always that the best healers were taken to Seireitei.

Well, now she had a chance to get some assistance. She took some medical supplies from the cupboard—it was a training mission, after all—and went out to the main entrance. As she turned the corner, Kira nearly collided with her. "Sorry, Captain Unohana," he murmured, clearly wanting to get away.

"Izuru-kun," she said.

"Yes, Captain Unohana?" he asked, turning towards her shyly.

"You _could_ go in to see her, you know," she said. "She appreciates the presents, but I'm sure she'd rather see you in person."

He ducked his head, as if he were trying to hide behind his hair. "She should have better friends than me," he said. "I should have let her kill Ichimaru."

"Don't be absurd," she said firmly. "First, if she had successfully killed Ichimaru, she would have been charged with treason. Second, powerful though she is, there is simply no way she could have actually killed Ichimaru, and given that she attacked him, no one would have blamed him for killing her. You did the right thing."

"I led Hitsugaya away. She was defenseless against Aizen because of me," Kira insisted.

Retsu sighed inwardly. His words had the ring of self-accusations endlessly repeated. "Izuru-kun, we were all fooled by the traitors. You are not alone in this. We _teach_ shinigami to trust their captains; you cannot be blamed for following your training.

Kira didn't answer. "Well, I hope sometime you'll speak with Hinamori-san in person," she said. "At any rate, thank you for helping my subordinates. Hanatarou's group has improved a great deal."

"Thank you, Captain Unohana," he said, and he hurried away.

Noticing the time, Retsu shook her head and went out to join her trainees.

oOoOoOo

Momo had heard some of the conversation between Captain Unohana and Kira. She had wanted to go out and tell him it was all right, that Gin had fooled everybody, even Captain Aizen, but she didn't want to interrupt.

Aizen…

No, she couldn't start thinking about him again. Every time she remembered what had happened, her heart began to pound all over again. She couldn't think about him.

But why? Gin fooled everybody, right? But even so…how could he really believe that it was necessary to hurt her? But she had believed that Hitsugaya was her enemy, so he could believe that Momo was his enemy, couldn't he?

_Just stop it_, she told herself. _Just stop_. She clenched her sheets tightly.

She was physically healed, for the most part, but she still had a scar on her stomach. It hurt if she moved too much.

_Why couldn't he have told me? Why couldn't he have explained what was happening? What did Gin __**tell **__him?_

She had to think about something else. There was a book in the corner which Kira had left. It was a story about a young woman who could turn into a seal. She tried to read, but the words wouldn't seem to focus.

_Aizen always loved to see her read. "What are you concentrating so hard on, Hinamori-san?" he would ask. And she would look up and see those beautiful eyes, those eyes that told her how much he trusted her and __**loved **__her…no one ever looked at her like that before._

No, no, no… she felt sick now, and cold. She stumbled outside and vomited, shaking and sobbing. Why? Why did he leave?

oOoOoOo

Overall, it had been a very successful day. The Fourth Division recruits had gotten some excellent practice, and they had saved quite a few lives. Of course, not all their care was a matter of life and death. Hanatarou had helped one of her most promising interns deliver a baby. The expression on his face was simply priceless.

Still smiling slightly, she took the day's reports from the shinigami at the front desk. "Is there anything in particular that I should know?" Retsu asked.

"Hinamori seems to have had something of a relapse," the nurse said. "Shortly after you left, she ran outside and threw up. We had to sedate her in order to get her back to her room. I'm also a little worried that only two drops of Shinten knocked her out. That indicates that her reiatsu is badly depleted again."

Retsu nodded. "I'll look in on her before I leave for the evening."

Hinamori was staring out the window, wrapped in a blanket when Retsu walked in. "Hinamori-san?" she said softly. The girl turned around slowly, and Retsu saw the dark circles under her eyes. "I hear you had a difficult day," Retsu said.

Hinamori nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?" Retsu asked.

At first, she didn't think Hinamori would answer, but then she said, "I can't stop thinking about him. It…just…Gin _lied _to him, I know it. But why did he hurt me? I thought he…he…" She started to sob and flung herself into Retsu's arms. "Oh, Captain Unohana," she said, crying into the older woman.

Retsu let her cry. _Finally_, she thought. Momo had cried before, but this was the first time she had really let her emotions go. She sobbed for more than a half hour, until she started to get drowsy.

Retsu gently set Momo back in her bed and pulled the covers up around her. "Captain Unohana?" she said sleepily.

"Yes?"

"Who was that one boy who was working here for a while?" she asked. "He had a funny name…Hana-something."

"Hanatarou Yamada," Retsu supplied. "He's a paramedic squad leader. He was just working on cleaning duty in the hospital for a while."

"I'd like to see him again someday," Momo said drowsily. "He was nice." And she went to sleep.


	5. Natural Bravery

"Are you sure you're ready? You could take some time off, you know. You've got quite a bit of vacation saved up," Captain Unohana asked.

"I've been resting too long," Momo insisted. "I need to get back to my squad." She sighed. "Captain Aizen…is a traitor. I understand that. But I still have duties as a Lieutenant, even if I'm not under him. And I need to be busy. Besides, with Captain Abarai in the Human World, someone needs to take care of Squad 5."

"Very well," Captain Unohana said. "Don't push yourself too hard."

"I won't," Momo promised.

She changed out of her hospital robe and into her shinigami robes. They were slightly baggy on her now; she'd lost weight again. With some hesitation, she pulled it into a bun and tied it off with her usual cloth. It had been a gift from Captain Aizen, but she was used to wearing it. It felt odd not to have it on her head.

She took a deep breath and headed out of the hospital and back to her own division. It was her first time going back to Squad 5 since the Central 46. Hurrying now so that she wouldn't be tempted to think too much about the past, Momo went to the headquarters.

_She proudly put on her shinigami robe for the first time. It was still stiff with newness and chafed slightly. They didn't actually make uniforms in her size, so Hitsugaya's grandmother had tailored one for her. (She had also done so for Hitsugaya, much to his irritation.)_

_Last, she put the fifth division armband on. She was so excited to be assigned into Captain Aizen's division. Someday, she was going to work her way up to be his Lieutenant, and be the person he relied on the most._

_She arrived at headquarters early. To her surprise, Captain Aizen himself was there; normally a lower-ranking shinigami dealt with new personnel. She bowed and said "Recruit Momo Hinamori reporting for duty, sir."_

"_Relax, Hinamori-san. You need not be so formal," Captain Aizen said._

_As she straightened up, her eyes met his. They were so deep, so beautiful, so kind. "Y-yes, Captain Aizen."_

"_You are an expert in Kido, I believe? Top of your class in it, if I recall correctly," he said._

_He had noticed her! He even remembered her scores from the Academy. She hadn't been sure he even remembered rescuing her._

"_It was very brave of you to assist Hisagi-kun when he was attacked by those Hollows, although it was also very dangerous. Of course, it goes without saying that if I tell you to run, you must obey me without question. I wouldn't want you to get hurt," he said._

"_Yes, Captain Aizen," she said. Her heart swelled with pride. Aizen really cared about her. "I will work very hard!" she promised._

"_I have no doubt," he said with a smile._

Blinking back tears, she opened the front door. The third seat at the desk, working on paperwork. "Lieutenant Momo Hinamori reporting for duty," she said to him.

"Welcome back, Lieutenant Hinamori," he said. "I'm glad to have you here. Trying to get this paperwork sorted out by myself is an absolute bear. I can't figure out where Ai…what goes where in this office."

"All right," Momo said. "Let's get to work."

oOoOoOo

Hanatarou was finishing a shift with his team at the Rukongai hospital. It had been a busy night. There had been a skirmish between feuding families in District 47, and they'd been treating casualties for hours. Most were minor injuries, not requiring Kido to heal. Although Kido could heal almost any injury, it was very tiring for the healer, so it was only used to heal injuries to the point where they were no longer life-threatening. After that, they let the patient's body take over.

Nonetheless, Hanatarou was exhausted, and he was looking forward to getting some sleep. Suddenly, there was a massive tearing noise, and he heard screams everywhere. A massive claw ripped through the wall of the hospital and began to grab patients.

"A Hollow!" someone screamed behind him.

An odd sort of calm settled over Hanatarou. He was going to die. That Hollow was a Menos, and he only had his team members with him. The best he could do was try to hold it off and save as many lives as he could before it got him. "Ueno, call for help," he said. "Then, take Tsukuda and Himura and get as many patients out as you can."

The Hollow was leaning over a terrified man, who was whimpering in a corner. "Hey!" Hanatarou screamed. "Over here!" He let his reiatsu flare trying to get the creature's attention.

The Hollow snickered evilly. "Got a death wish, do you?" it asked.

Hanatarou ignored it. The Hollow was very large, and they were in a confined space. It wouldn't be very maneuverable. The problem was that there were quite a few patients lying on the ground around the Hollow, unable to move.

He drew his zanpakuto. "Fulfill, Hisagomaru," he murmured.

He ran beneath the legs of the Hollow, plunging his sword into the first patient. As the sword sucked the injury out of the man, Hanatarou hissed, "As soon as you can move, run." He repeated the process over and over until the area around the fight was clear, dodging swipes from the Hollow as he went.

"It's no good, you know," the Hollow said. "As soon as I kill you, I'll get all of them as well."

The gauge on his sword was almost full, but not quite. _Not good enough_, he thought. If he could use his shikai special ability, he might be able to drive the Hollow off, but he didn't have a chance otherwise. And the injured couldn't be far away, so he couldn't run from this fight. Not that he could outrun the Hollow, anyway.

He had a plan.

It was a really stupid plan. The kind of plan Ichigo Kurosaki would have invented.

Hanatarou fled out the gaping hole in the wall and into the middle of an open field. He turned and faced for the Hollow there, sword at the ready.

"Oh, finally ready to fight me head-to-head?" it asked.

It loomed closer and closer, blotting out the sun overhead. When it actually started to bend over Hanatarou, he plunged his sword into his own stomach.

Fiery pain shot through him, cutting and healing all at once. He yanked his sword out and pointed it at the Hollow's gaping mouth. "Go, Akeiro Hisagomaru," he commanded.

A blinding flash of red streamed from his sword into the Hollow. It screamed in pain and writhed, kicking Hanatarou into a tree. Then, it ripped open the sky and fled with a howl of fury.

"Wow," Hanatarou said. "That actually worked."

It was rather painful to breathe at the moment; he definitely had a couple of cracked ribs. Moving was definitely out of the question. But there didn't seem to be too much of a hurry now. Grunting slightly, he raised his arm to send up a brief flash of Kido to serve as a beacon to his position.

He didn't have to wait too long. Several shinigami ran across the field to his position. Captain Hisagi demanded, "Where's the Menos?"

"It went back," Hanatarou said.

"You chased it off?" Captain Hisagi said in shock. "Are you sure it was really a Menos?"

"Yes," Hanatarou said. He would have elaborated, but he was incredibly tired and talking was painful.

"Hisagi-san, leave him alone," a woman said. "He's hurt. He can give his report later." Hanatarou looked at the person who had spoken, and to his shock, it was Hinamori. "Hinamori-san!" he said.

"Oh, it's you, Hanatarou-san," she said with a smile. He blushed furiously. She remembered his name, and she seemed pleased to see him. "Where are you injured?"

"I have two broken ribs, and multiple cuts and abrasions on my back, but nothing serious, I think. I do not believe that I have a concussion, but that should be checked, anyway," he said clinically.

As Captain Hisagi went to check on the evacuees, Hinamori remained, along with another Squad 5 member. She immobilized his ribs and carried one end of the stretcher through the gates of Seireitei. Before she handed the stretcher off to two waiting Squad 4 members, she whispered, "Drop by Squad 5 sometime. I'd like to say something to you."

oOoOoOo

Hanatarou was only in the hospital overnight. He'd been asked to give his report half a dozen times. No one seemed to believe that he had actually managed to drive off a Menos. Usually it took a team of shinigami or a lieutenant to cleanse even a Gillian-class Menos, such as the one Hanatarou had fought.

"I got lucky," he insisted. "If I had missed, I would have been killed." He could only fire Akeiro Hisagomaru once, and he wouldn't have had a chance against the Hollow under normal circumstances.

"You did well," Captain Unohana assured him. "Your quick thinking saved the lives of many who would surely have died without your assistance. You showed both courage and prudence, employing everything I taught you. I am very proud of you."

Hanatarou hadn't been able to answer that. He was blushing too furiously. But really, any shinigami would have done as well, if they had the tools necessary. He was simply fortunate that his sword was more powerful than he was.

After he was discharged, he had the rest of the day off. It was around dinner time, so he went to Squad 5. He nervously knocked on the door to headquarters. "Yeah, come in!" someone yelled.

Hanatarou pulled open the door, wincing slightly. His ribs were still tender. "Um…Lieutenant Hinamori? You had asked to see me."

"Hello, Hanatarou-san," she said, coming into the room.

"Would you like to walk with me?" she asked. He nodded silently, and they walked outside. It was late September, so it was finally beginning to cool off. Some of the trees on the mountainsides were turning colors.

After they had walked for a few minutes, Hinamori said, "Hanatarou-kun, I want to thank you."

"For what?" he asked in confusion.

"When I was in the hospital, you were always so cheerful. It helped a lot when…when I was getting better," she said.

"It really wasn't anything special," Hanatarou said.

"It was for me," she said. They were near a garden now. Hinamori sat on a large rock and pulled her knees up. "Everyone…changed so much. Kira-kun, Renji-kun, even Hitsugaya-kun, they're not the same as they used to be. I wish we could go back to the way we were before. It was…simpler before the ryoka came."

Hanatarou wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to cause a relapse by saying the wrong thing. Hesitantly, he said, "I guess they did change a lot. I think I was lucky. Because of them, I decided that I want to get stronger. I even started carrying my zanpakuto." He rubbed his head, grinning ruefully. Why was he telling her this? She surely didn't want to hear that he was happy.

Hinamori looked at him in surprise. "You always see the bright side of everything, don't you?" she asked.

For a moment, Hanatarou wasn't sure if she was making fun of him. However, she seemed serious, so he explained, "Working in Squad 4 can be hard sometimes. We see some pretty bad stuff. It's important to stay cheerful, or you can't take it.

"There was a shinigami," Hanatarou said, not really seeing Hinamori anymore, "years ago, before you would have been at the Academy. He was amazingly talented, promising enough that people said he would rival Captain Unohana one day. He worked tirelessly in the Critical Unit.

"Eventually, he became…obsessed with death, with the ones he couldn't save. In the end, he killed himself. In the middle of the hospital, he stabbed himself through the stomach and then held everyone off with a sword until he passed out. He lost so much blood that we couldn't save him."

"How old were you?" Hinamori asked.

"Twenty-seven. I was working cleaning crew that day," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's all right. Just, after that, I decided to always find the bright side, and not worry too much about what might have been," he said.

oOoOoOo

As Hinamori got ready for bed, she found herself smiling, genuinely smiling, for the first time in longer than she could remember.

What was it about Hanatarou? She had always assumed that he was carefree, but he had actually been through a lot. It gave her hope that she could be happy again, even after everything that had happened.


End file.
